6 thoughts on “Geese Rise | Birds haiku poem example | 020209

  1. I’m sure you were one of the people suggesting I try breaking free from 5-7-5, but I just like it SO MUCH, I’m going to write my own version of your above haiku here:

    In the morning light,
    geese rise… as I take a step
    onto the wet stand.

    I do this out of the joy I found in your poem, and mean no disrespect in rewriting it! Kudos to your ever-vigilant haiku-ing.

  2. Dave – Yes, I hit “Publish” too soon. Strange, though – it is often the knowledge that the poem is “out”, and can be seen by others, that knocks my awareness into gear for revisions.

    Was that clear? Have I gotten past my own wet brain? Goodness – was that, well, good? Bring on the light, the air, the critics!

    Qrystal – I always welcome the creative suggestions of a fellow traveler. Stick with 5-7-5. Enjoyment is the signal that you are doing good work.

    Dread smothers.

    haikuexpeditions – Thanks for the encouragement!

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