4 thoughts on “Stone Still | River haiku poem example | 112708

  1. I think focus is more important than reducing syllables.

    You’re now at 13, “the river washes” (or “this river washes”) would make 15, skipping “as” (and adding a comma) would make 14… :shrugs:

    When you keep it general, it glides off easily. When you make it particular (THIS river), the readers can feel the cold water on their own skin. General is something that could happen or should happen. Particular is something that does happen right now.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s