Stone Still | River haiku poem example | 112708

stone-setting

I remain stone
still – this river washes
my body clean.

Ken Wagner on Haiku Habits

Image by angela7dreams

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4 thoughts on “Stone Still | River haiku poem example | 112708

  1. I think focus is more important than reducing syllables.

    You’re now at 13, “the river washes” (or “this river washes”) would make 15, skipping “as” (and adding a comma) would make 14… :shrugs:

    When you keep it general, it glides off easily. When you make it particular (THIS river), the readers can feel the cold water on their own skin. General is something that could happen or should happen. Particular is something that does happen right now.

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