Rains fall.
Endless steps in soggy
cotton socks.
Ken Wagner on Haiku Habits
Haiku Habits
How to Write Short Poems for Personal Growth: A Forum for Examples and Commentary
Rains fall.
Endless steps in soggy
cotton socks.
Ken Wagner on Haiku Habits
Wet sock steps scratch? I don’t get it…
Original –
Rain taps, taps.
Wet sock steps
scratch.
New version better?
I don’t know. Why aren’t you wearing your shoes in the rain? And what do your socks scratch?
I don’t see wet wool scratching anything at all really, it would seem more like soft and spongy to me.
Spongy, yes, but I had been walking for an hour in cold rain and my wet socks were definitely scratchy! But they were cotton, not wool, so maybe that will help. Honesty, honesty.
Was
Rains falling.
My wet woolen socks
scratch.
Okay, sorry, I really didn’t get the scratching thing. Maybe because I have water proof shoes. :p
About honesty, I think it’s totally okay to change the events to suit your haiku. It’s about how best to get your feeling across, so if the image needs sharpening… If you saw and heard two birds, but one bird works better, one bird it is. Etc.