Snow melts on a flat field – What happened to us?
Ken Wagner on Haiku Habits
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Categories: Haiku Poems About Snow
Ken Wagner // February 13, 2009 at 10:24 pm | Reply
Was – Snow melts on a flat street - Indifference
devika // February 14, 2009 at 9:57 pm | Reply
You got that feeling? Street or field, melting snow conveys warmth – I mean the idea — I have never seen snow or snow melting
wishes, devika
Ken Wagner // February 14, 2009 at 10:19 pm | Reply
You are correct, Devika. Too abstract. Let me try another revision. Thanks for pushing.
Was – Snow melts on a flat field - Indifference
Dave Bonta // February 14, 2009 at 10:35 pm | Reply
I like this.
Caroline // February 15, 2009 at 12:53 am | Reply
this website is great. <3 the haiku overdose.
gautami tripathy // February 16, 2009 at 11:08 am | Reply
in the warmth of my thought snow melted outside
Ken Wagner // February 16, 2009 at 5:09 pm | Reply
Thanks, Dave and Caroline.
Gautami – I like the poem very much. For some reason, I think “melts” may work better than “melted”. Cheers!
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7 responses so far ↓
Ken Wagner // February 13, 2009 at 10:24 pm |
Was –
Snow melts
on a flat street -
Indifference
devika // February 14, 2009 at 9:57 pm |
You got that feeling?
Street or field, melting snow conveys warmth –
I mean the idea — I have never seen snow or snow melting
wishes,
devika
Ken Wagner // February 14, 2009 at 10:19 pm |
You are correct, Devika. Too abstract. Let me try another revision. Thanks for pushing.
Was –
Snow melts
on a flat field -
Indifference
Dave Bonta // February 14, 2009 at 10:35 pm |
I like this.
Caroline // February 15, 2009 at 12:53 am |
this website is great. <3 the haiku overdose.
gautami tripathy // February 16, 2009 at 11:08 am |
in the warmth
of my thought
snow melted outside
Ken Wagner // February 16, 2009 at 5:09 pm |
Thanks, Dave and Caroline.
Gautami – I like the poem very much. For some reason, I think “melts” may work better than “melted”. Cheers!