Haiku Habits

5 responses so far ↓

• 

  Dave Bonta // February 3, 2009 at 11:09 pm | Reply

  It’s never the same moon, is it? Thank god for that.

• 

  Craig // February 4, 2009 at 1:18 pm | Reply

  well, ken, i’ve had the urge to write you several times over the last few days to say, “i sure liked that haiku” – the word several is key of course – y’know my dad and i parked in front of my old house – people came out and asked what the f. we were doing there – however, my old dishwasher was parked in the driveway – feel free to use that…

• 

  Ken Wagner // February 4, 2009 at 7:42 pm | Reply

  Dave – Yes, many thanks are due. I wish I could preserve and prolong that awareness of thankfulness.

  Craig – Thanks for the visit, old friend. Loved your haiku post (Swimming Dust). Gotta get you a site. Or, you can keep ‘em coming here.

• 

  Bill // February 5, 2009 at 11:17 am | Reply

  Ken, picking up the discussion begun a few days ago (initiated by Matt), haiku commonly combines a 3-line format (in English,anyway) with a two-part structure: set-up & payoff, fragment & phrase, etc. You might have such a combination here if you dropped line 3 and rearranged the lineation

  boyhood streets
  the same chill wind through
  the same bare trees

  Line 3 introduces a third element to the structure, and, for me, compromises the power of the first two lines. Another way to go:

  boyhood streets
  new moon through
  the bare trees

  But, of course, your poems belong to you, and the final decision is always yours.

• 

  Ken Wagner // February 5, 2009 at 9:21 pm | Reply

  Bill – The feedback is very helpful, and I think your version reads very well.

  Others have mentioned to me the two-part structure of haiku. I need to reconsider how I have been approaching the form.