Haiku Habits

8 responses so far ↓

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  Dave // January 12, 2009 at 9:46 pm | Reply

  I like the last one the best.

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  gautami tripathy // January 13, 2009 at 8:40 am | Reply

  This is a good series. I too like the last one. It is very tight.

  As I live in Delhi, the following is my response.

  fresh snow-
  whats that?
  I dunno!

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  gautami tripathy // January 13, 2009 at 8:42 am | Reply

  May be:

  fresh snow
  under the window
  footprints

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  Ken Wagner // January 13, 2009 at 9:44 pm | Reply

  I like the last one the best as well, but I needed the progression of versions to get me to that point of awareness.

  This site is not just about publishing poems, but also the practice and process. My formal education is in psychology and philosophy, and I tend (if you have not already noticed!) toward generalized descriptions. The insight is often sharp, but it gets blurred in the sharing.

  I published these as a series for two reasons: (1) I liked each one for different reasons; and, (2) If I am serious about practice, process, and feedback, I need to share the whole bloody mess. Well, not the whole mess, but you see what I’m after.

  Thanks for hanging in there!

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  Kris // January 17, 2009 at 8:20 pm | Reply

  The last is the tightest – but you’re right that several have their virtues. As you’ve noticed I revise a good bit too.
  I’m just wondering:
  Fresh snow -
  Footprints under
  my window.
  ?? It’s hard to saying having read all the earlier one’s but I think that might catch the sense of intrusion into your yard as well as the visual of the footprints.
  take care . . .

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  Ken Wagner // January 18, 2009 at 7:44 pm | Reply

  I struggled with “my” in the last one, which, if used, would complete the forward motion of the intrusion. I held back, perhaps from fear (!), but also because I thought “the” prompted an ambiguous unease in the reader. Whose window? Exactly.

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  Deb // February 6, 2009 at 11:28 am | Reply

  I’m delighted to read your process, your readers’ comments, and the follow-up.

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  Ken Wagner // February 6, 2009 at 9:33 pm | Reply

  Deb – Yes, that is what I hope for Haiku Habits. To grow, through haiku, together.