There I go, trapped in my brain again! I wanted this to be spooky, with a sense of suspense – even danger. This is more closely what I meant to convey -
Fresh snow -
A stranger’s footprints in
my back yard
Thanks for the feedback. What do you think of this version, or perhaps it is a separate poem?
5 Comments
January 12, 2009 at 8:10 am
Who decides where footprints don’t belong?
January 12, 2009 at 11:01 am
I agree with Adriaan.
in a drab day
footprints
mark my existence
And I have linked you on my blog. Do check it out!
unconnected
January 12, 2009 at 11:52 am
There I go, trapped in my brain again! I wanted this to be spooky, with a sense of suspense – even danger. This is more closely what I meant to convey -
Fresh snow -
A stranger’s footprints in
my back yard
Thanks for the feedback. What do you think of this version, or perhaps it is a separate poem?
Gautami – Thanks for the link!
January 12, 2009 at 12:00 pm
Ken, I like it better. It creates that feeling of danger.
And I am GAUTAMI not Guatami.
*grin*
January 12, 2009 at 7:25 pm
Thanks, Adriaan and Gautami (I fixed the spelling – sorry!). I hope you like the series.