Comments on: Curved Hills | Mountains haiku poem example | 122208 http://haikuhabits.com/2008/12/22/curved-mountains-mountains-haiku-poem-example-221208/ How to Write Short Poems for Personal Growth: A Forum for Examples and Commentary Wed, 09 May 2012 20:49:11 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.com/ By: Adriaan http://haikuhabits.com/2008/12/22/curved-mountains-mountains-haiku-poem-example-221208/#comment-152 Fri, 02 Jan 2009 10:10:16 +0000 http://haikuhabits.com/?p=793#comment-152 I see what you mean, but still there is a distance I don’t think really is there in your mind when you think about someone in that way.

Ah well.

]]> By: Ken Wagner http://haikuhabits.com/2008/12/22/curved-mountains-mountains-haiku-poem-example-221208/#comment-151 Fri, 02 Jan 2009 03:22:31 +0000 http://haikuhabits.com/?p=793#comment-151 “Your back” would better suggest the intimacy of an encounter, but this was more a moment of recollection. I was on the road, driving into the mountains.

Plus, I’m not sure she would have appreciated my breaking an intimate moment to compare her to the hills, no matter how lovely!

]]> By: Adriaan http://haikuhabits.com/2008/12/22/curved-mountains-mountains-haiku-poem-example-221208/#comment-150 Thu, 01 Jan 2009 17:27:53 +0000 http://haikuhabits.com/?p=793#comment-150 Wouldn’t “your back” be better?

]]> By: Ken Wagner http://haikuhabits.com/2008/12/22/curved-mountains-mountains-haiku-poem-example-221208/#comment-149 Tue, 30 Dec 2008 00:33:11 +0000 http://haikuhabits.com/?p=793#comment-149 Thank you. I am fond of this one.

]]> By: hraps http://haikuhabits.com/2008/12/22/curved-mountains-mountains-haiku-poem-example-221208/#comment-148 Mon, 29 Dec 2008 04:45:46 +0000 http://haikuhabits.com/?p=793#comment-148 See it, feel it, love it.

]]> By: Ken Wagner http://haikuhabits.com/2008/12/22/curved-mountains-mountains-haiku-poem-example-221208/#comment-147 Wed, 24 Dec 2008 01:32:22 +0000 http://haikuhabits.com/?p=793#comment-147 Gerald – Glad you liked it. Thanks for the feedback!

]]> By: Ken Wagner http://haikuhabits.com/2008/12/22/curved-mountains-mountains-haiku-poem-example-221208/#comment-146 Tue, 23 Dec 2008 17:02:21 +0000 http://haikuhabits.com/?p=793#comment-146 Was -
Curved mountains
covered in clouds -
The small of her back.

I think “hills” works better. Any thoughts?

]]> By: Gerald http://haikuhabits.com/2008/12/22/curved-mountains-mountains-haiku-poem-example-221208/#comment-145 Tue, 23 Dec 2008 15:35:34 +0000 http://haikuhabits.com/?p=793#comment-145 delicious
a nicely succint metaphor but underlying resonations too

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