Curved hills
covered in clouds -
The small of her back.
Ken Wagner on Haiku Habits
Curved Hills | Mountains haiku poem example | 122208
Filed under Haiku Poems About Mountains
Curved hills
covered in clouds -
The small of her back.
Ken Wagner on Haiku Habits
Filed under Haiku Poems About Mountains
delicious
a nicely succint metaphor but underlying resonations too
Was -
Curved mountains
covered in clouds -
The small of her back.
I think “hills” works better. Any thoughts?
Gerald – Glad you liked it. Thanks for the feedback!
See it, feel it, love it.
Thank you. I am fond of this one.
Wouldn’t “your back” be better?
“Your back” would better suggest the intimacy of an encounter, but this was more a moment of recollection. I was on the road, driving into the mountains.
Plus, I’m not sure she would have appreciated my breaking an intimate moment to compare her to the hills, no matter how lovely!
I see what you mean, but still there is a distance I don’t think really is there in your mind when you think about someone in that way.
Ah well.