Comments on: Poodle Delights | Dogs haiku poem example | 121008

By: Ken Wagner

Ken Wagner — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 04:41:53 +0000

Dave - Perhaps "delights" is too vague, because the emotion I was trying to capture was the dog's - he was delighted. I admit to being amused at the moment, but the discovery was all his. Thanks for your thoughts on the blog process. I thought it would be useful to capture the development of a struggling haiku-er. Perhaps it will also track the emergence of a new personal sense of awareness and action. Or not!

By: Dave

Dave — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 03:19:25 +0000

I agree with Kris. I only worry that “delights” might be a little too abstract – though I do like bringing in the narrator’s own emotion. If it were me, I would’ve stayed focused on the dog, but that’s not necessarily the best or most haiku-like way, I think.

I admire the risks you’re taking here. I wish more people used their blogs this way.

By: Ken Wagner

Ken Wagner — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 01:08:12 +0000

Thanks for the feedback, Kris.

Rocco the poodle just hit one year. He loves everything, but is especially fond of leaves, ice, and snow. He has been a great – if exhausting – companion in my haiku practice.

I am trying to pay attention to sound and rhythm – not just the image. Your encouragement means a lot.

By: Kris

Kris — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 18:48:07 +0000

I like this one – a vivid, funny, image and a nice half-rhyme.

I get the impression a lot of twitter haiku writers don’t do a lot with the sound of the words, but from the transliteratoins of Japanese I’ve read, the original poets did.