My poodle delights,
pouncing on his first
sheet of ice.
Ken Wagner on Haiku Habits
Poodle Delights | Dogs haiku poem example | 121008
Filed under Haiku Poems About Dogs
My poodle delights,
pouncing on his first
sheet of ice.
Ken Wagner on Haiku Habits
Filed under Haiku Poems About Dogs
I like this one – a vivid, funny, image and a nice half-rhyme.
I get the impression a lot of twitter haiku writers don’t do a lot with the sound of the words, but from the transliteratoins of Japanese I’ve read, the original poets did.
Thanks for the feedback, Kris.
Rocco the poodle just hit one year. He loves everything, but is especially fond of leaves, ice, and snow. He has been a great – if exhausting – companion in my haiku practice.
I am trying to pay attention to sound and rhythm – not just the image. Your encouragement means a lot.
I agree with Kris. I only worry that “delights” might be a little too abstract – though I do like bringing in the narrator’s own emotion. If it were me, I would’ve stayed focused on the dog, but that’s not necessarily the best or most haiku-like way, I think.
I admire the risks you’re taking here. I wish more people used their blogs this way.
Dave -
Perhaps “delights” is too vague, because the emotion I was trying to capture was the dog’s – he was delighted.
I admit to being amused at the moment, but the discovery was all his.
Thanks for your thoughts on the blog process. I thought it would be useful to capture the development of a struggling haiku-er. Perhaps it will also track the emergence of a new personal sense of awareness and action. Or not!