Comments on: Roof Peaks | Snow haiku poem example | 120408 http://haikuhabits.com/2008/12/04/roof-peaks-snow-haiku-poem-041208/ How to Write Short Poems for Personal Growth: A Forum for Examples and Commentary Wed, 09 May 2012 20:49:11 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.com/ By: Ken Wagner http://haikuhabits.com/2008/12/04/roof-peaks-snow-haiku-poem-041208/#comment-110 Sun, 07 Dec 2008 01:57:10 +0000 http://haikuhabits.com/?p=521#comment-110 No, you are right on to what I am trying to communicate – I want the snow to slide; the roof to protect. What about:

A-frame roof
peaks in prayer -
snow slides down.

]]> By: Adriaan http://haikuhabits.com/2008/12/04/roof-peaks-snow-haiku-poem-041208/#comment-112 Sat, 06 Dec 2008 11:03:08 +0000 http://haikuhabits.com/?p=521#comment-112 It doesn’t seem practical. The snow slides because of the slope of the roof, so why would we want a slope to prevent snow from sliding?

And then, we *want* the snow to slide, or the roof would collapse.

If the “prayer” would be for the snow not to pile up too high, or for the roof to hold, I would understand.

Or maybe I just don’t understand snow. Here we hardly ever get more than a few centimeters, and it hardly ever takes more than a week for it to melt.

]]> By: Ken Wagner http://haikuhabits.com/2008/12/04/roof-peaks-snow-haiku-poem-041208/#comment-111 Sat, 06 Dec 2008 02:24:19 +0000 http://haikuhabits.com/?p=521#comment-111 My image was of an A-frame roof pointed upward in protection, like hands in prayer. Something like -

A-frame roof
peaks in prayer against
sliding snow.

Do you think that is any better/clearer?

]]> By: Adriaan http://haikuhabits.com/2008/12/04/roof-peaks-snow-haiku-poem-041208/#comment-109 Fri, 05 Dec 2008 13:23:50 +0000 http://haikuhabits.com/?p=521#comment-109 I’m sure this is my lack of understanding English, plus my lack of understanding technical stuff, but I don’t see it. The snow slides because of the sloping roof, that I understand, but what does it mean that the roof peaks against it?

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